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You know, I have been through hell and back and there are many people whom in which I know have been through unprecedented amounts of chaos. But I want to testify and I want you to put in the comment section below what you have come out of. In my life I have been molested, I have been on drugs and drank overwhelming amounts of alcohol; and I have been addicted to pornography and at one point sex in itself, but I can tell you that after going through all that being addicted to all that I can say that I have come out on top! I have come out of it with flying colors. I have lied and manipulated many things that have caused me to burn bridges, and now writing this blog post I can tell you all now that I have come out on top, I am drug free and sober and have not engaged in anything sexualy immorla in 7 years and I can say life is so much better on this side of glory, In this life I have seen things and been through things that have almost compromised my spiritual walk with Jesus; Now I can say I am free from all that! A little about my walk to where I am now; is I was raised in the United Pentecostal faith, and then later on after being molested and raped at six, I then chose to accept Jesus as my savior, with evidence of speaking in tongues at six years old. I then after my mother passed and my father was arrested turned to drugs, sex, alcohol, and many more things I walked in a demonic path for 5 years. When I moved to Oklahoma in 2018, I thought that things would change no they just got worse and I was still on drugs and not alcohol but drugs, then I moved back in 2019, beginning of 2020, right around the start of the pandemic I moved back to Waco Texas, and later on my girlfriend at the time moved here with me and we chose to move back to Oklahoma, got even WORSE!!! Moved back and stayed single after that I now, after going through all of that I have met my beautiful fiance who I am with now, I have started a ministry, and wrote two books now, and I am medical student who has been accepted into many colleges, for example, Baylor, Texas Tech, SAGU, and University of Texas at Austin. I have made it so far, and it is all by the grace of God that I did, I met my best friend and her husband now, I have met my NOW adopted parents and their family, I have found my home church and made friends upon friends and have graduated from high school and God has truly blessed me with many things and many people now! It is all due to me (SITTING DOWN AND SHUTTING UP!!) I had to learn to sit down and let God do what he does best and that is to just be God! I am so proud of where and who I am! I am not who I used to be I am me, I am blessed I am FREE!! And I can sit here and tell you everything and more about what I went through but you will have to wait for Fightin' Hell in Cowboy Boots to come out. My life hasn't always been rainbows and fairy tales it has been scary, and horrifying but now it has been made a blessed and righteous life! And I can list everyone who has helped make it that way! GOD Brooke (My beautiful Girlfriend/Fiance) Mom/Thresa Dad/Vance Nana My boys (Brother's) Lydia (Best friend) Denver (Husband to best friend) Summer (Aunt) Tanner (Brother) There is so much more but it would take me days to list but here are some of the immediate people! So in closing of this post, I want to say thank you to all of those who have in one way made a HUGE impact on my life. I love you all so deeply you have no idea! I pray that God blesses us and our family with many years together!

So you know in life we chose where we want to be, and when we get there we look around and finally realize "this is not where I need to be." But yet, you put yourself there, in life there will be attacks and there will be strongholds that will try to make you build your grave and the graveyard around you instead of you palanting the flower beds around you. You see, this is spiritually symbolic for a reason because there is a song by elevation worship called Graves into Gardens, and I believe that in today's world we are so used to tearing ourselves down and letting others have the power over or future that we allow our self to build those cemeteries instead of those beautiful flower beds. I went through some of the hardest things in my life, I lost everything and felt almost as if I would never gain anything good I was angry at God, I was angry at everyone that was around me because I was allowing my enemies and some family members tear me down and make look and feel as if I was absolutely nothing. I was allowing the haters and the backlash that others were giving determine my spiritual future, And you will ask "Aiden what does this mean?" i was allowing what others said have an impact on the outcome of what I planned my life to be. But the truth is, it does not matter what others say and or think about you sometimes it does not matter what you think about you. All that matters is what God thinks of you. because just like the bible says in Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you saith the Lord of host, plans for you to prosper and to have a hope." You see what others say amounts to nothing not even a hill of beans because all that people will do is try to tear you down, but you know what I have learned is this, Keep your friends close but your enemies closer. I am going to tell you why, I pays to see the stupidity at work that will come against you but at the end of the day, I can tell you God just will bring you up more and more. Baby, if they are pulling away, and you think you were close friends, that means that God is closing the curtain on that chapter and you are GROWING where they can't because they are still spiritually immature. Do not let the immature make you mediocre, courage never hurt nobody! Move on stop letting them help you dig those graves and start digging some flower beds, Start digging pulling the roots out and making new beds, start covering those graves with roses, and lillys, and sunflowers because when you do all you have to do when the haters walk by is this " Baby, stop and smell the flowers!" You see God is taking you places that person or group of people cannot go because they are not ready to grow up. I have this friend who is up there in years and this friend is nothing but drama, You see everywhere this person goes drama follows, it is like an endless cycle of drama and chaos. So I had to do what I should've done a long time ago, and that is say " That's a wrap, I've got to go!" You see your life will always follow the path of the people you choose to hang around with because you will gravitate towards that. And this person all they want to do is start chaos and confusion and division not resolve the conflict at hand, and that is this person spiritual immaturity. You seem the more you pull away the more of a shift in the atmosphere you will begin to see. I have this one friend, and she is my best friend, she is like my sister, she will sit here and look at me and say "Aiden, now you know you have to pull away!" what is so crazy is that she is RIGHT 99% of the time she is right because she has been there to help me build my flower beds and cover p those graves with the blessing God has bestowed upon me and my life. There is nothing wrong with shutting off those who do nothing but cause chaos and division in your life! I have a saying "Sit down and shut up!" And sometimes I have to do that because I am just like everyone else my mouth will sometimes take me places I should not be going lol! Sometimes holding the door open to allow others to walk is the best thing you have to do! Get up, move and walk and build you some fences that way you can see the warning label people carry above their head! You see when I met my fiance, I was burying myself and I was making my graveyard and not a flower bed, I was putting myself deeper in my grave instead of pulling myself out! God made a way, and for me it was giving me Brooke, you see God will give you people as a sign of rather you're doing it right or it is time to take a step back this was my sign from God that i was doing it right! This will lead me into my next post later this week! Enjoy and be blessed!

So this blog is totally different I have heard a lot of people talk about their hardships, and battles that they are going through, they always talk so pessimistic about their situations but never know when to give God the glory because even though it is a bad situation look at what God does, he takes ashes and dust and makes diamonds. I want to talk about the Israelites and how they escaped egypt; they prayed to God and prayed for an escape and God sent Moses to help them and bring them to the land in which the Lord had promised them. You see your battles are your egypt and some of us would rather settle and make your funeral plans and a lot of us would rather sit and be complacent because in our eyes the situation is bigger but why are we always so quick to assume that the situation is bigger than God? He did something what we think is humanly impossible. he use a few words to make everything! He created life as we know it and In Genesis 1:1 NKJV it states In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth, and the earth was without form and void, and the darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the spirit of God hovering over the waters. If God were to settle with just being complacent and being convicted, what he wanted would never happen, not one person, animal or anything would be in existence right now. In today's world we have so many warm water christians, some who say "oh it's all going to be alright" to others but behind closed doors they worry about everything and question the will of God and they wonder why they are walking through the hell they are because they are trying to do what God has already done. Before that situation started God had a battle plan ready, he knew every word that would be said, every document wrote and every person involved but he also had a plan on how it was going to work out for your favor. You see if the israelites would have given up, Israel would not be a free nation, the people of God would not have inherited the land promised to them by the Father. It all comes down to us deciding, either get up out of your grave and fight or sit down and look stupid and settle for complacency and be an egyptian, ruled by your stupid ruler or "king" and that is Satan. It is up to you to get up and say, "No, I am going to live for Christ and I am going to live for the right reason and the whole time I am going to give him glory for everything!" So get up, because I can tell you that If I would've settled and been complacent, I would still be on drugs, and drinking alcohol, I would be in the streets, and making funeral plans that would end up coming true. I would not have my beautiful Fiance, I would not own a company, I would not be in College becoming a Doctor, I would be nowhere living up to a Shotwell name that would make me like them for the rest of my life getting nowhere but the streets and prison. I had to have the faith to get out of there and you see the bible says, "Faith without works is dead." So, I had to work and have faith and lean not to my own understanding but in ALL my ways acknowledge the Father and by doing that he made my paths straight. It is up to you, I can't do it for you and neither can anyone else, it is only up to you. So, what are you going to do? Get up out of the grave or stay there? It is up to you!!

This blog post is titled this for a reason, and it took me a long time to write this for the simple fact that I struggled in this area. I was not always successful it took a lot for me to get here. And, I think no... I know that life is not always the best we all go through things that we feel like we can't get out of. Growing up I was talked down to by a lot of people I was called, "fat, lazy, a faggot" and told I would never be or do anything. That was hard hearing at 12 and once at 8, and through out my life by my father and his family, they knew I had that i had a call of God on my life and everyone knew that I would do something that would change that "Shotwell" name the name that is known for abusers, pedophiles, and drug addicts as well as womanizers. I strived to and still am striving to make the Shotwell name into something I know I can, a name where people hear that name and they know, "Oh, yeah Shotwell, you can trust them." My success cannot be dictated or delayed and neither can yours. I am writing this to everyone that you do not have to delay your success due to your name or the background in which you came from. I came from a horrible background Shotwell, that was not a good name, and Morgan everyone knew that name they knew the Summers name those names they were known as Godly, hard working, honest and faithful and loyal! I knew one day when I was talking to my adopted mother, and she looked at me and she looked me dead in the eye, and said this "Aiden jay, you can make a change, and change the Shotwell name from an evil background into something amazing." I was known for lying, and then stealing and cheating and so many more because for so long in my life I delayed my success and made it something now that I am changing that name and I am working hard to keep the Morgan name the name where it means hard working, and honest and loyal, and change Shotwell to mean the same thing. You see you can do the same no one can do it for you, you have to do it yourself and that means getting and putting on your cowboy boots and fighting and I mean fight like you've never fought before! There are so many things we all go through so much and I have told a lot of people that there is one thing to keep success. and that is this... Forgiveness! Learn to forgive and move on and walk in your truth and be the person God has called you to be! In my Book, I teach everyone that and In my new book I go deeper into every issue I had everything that I went through and how forgiveness IS the number one thing to getting to your success and forgetting your past and looking to what the future lies ahead. One thing that I have learned is that you can change the very trajectory of the course of your entire life.

I woke up this morning and I had a lot of things on my mind. MY morning consists of me waking up at 5 AM every morning I arouse from my nap at that time and I wake up my beautiful girlfriend and we talk, and get ready together, but today was different I felt an overwhelming sense of not sorrow, but grief. So, I did what any man if he got that feeling I asked Brooke, I said "Baby, did I do something?" and she looks at me and goes "Yeah, you did do something you saved me and made me the happiest women on earth!" Well that made me smile and blush from here to heaven lol; but in my mind I still felt off that feeling of grief was still there so after we both left she went to school and I to work, I prayed and I asked God "Lord, please show me or tell me why I am feeling this way?" I was not in grief, I heard the Lord say to me "You're not grieving, you're fearing something, and fear cannot be where I am!" So I said "Oh lawd, that is scary!" See, fear is the evidence of pain, rejection, depression and so much more it is the very root of the things that we go through on a daily basis, so as I started working, I played some music and then I began to get scared and fear again about something knew was not going to happen. You see the acronym for fear is this; False Evidence Appearing Real! It is something that Satan says will happen but never does, and if it does well I am going to tell you something, this will step on a lot of toes but i do not care, majority of the things you're going through you allow them to happen, you see the bible says that life and death are in the power of the tongue. Your mouth is the only thing that will make things happen do you know why? Because you give life to evil and scary situations. You know why you cannot revive a dead situation, because if something is already dead there is no need in giving CPR to something that will never come back to life. What is dead is dead and that is that, fear cannot hold a place in your life and if it does then it is you that is allowing it. You are the CEo of your own life and it is up to you if you want to accept crazy, nonsense that has no relevance in your life, or you can reject and say "God, said this and I am going to live by this and I speak death to fear and life to the blessings I have not even got yet. everything you say and do willeither come back and bring blessings or a curse but in order to receive the blessing and not the curse you have to know how to speak life to the things that need it most speak death to the thing that is hindering you from getting what you deserve and what is rightfully yours thanks to the blood shed for us 2000 years ago! Fear is not your portion, rejection is not your portion, infertility is not your portion, marital issues is not your portion, Financial issues that is not your portion, Sickness/Illness, that is not your portion, say it with me "IT IS NOT MY PORTION" SPEAK IT AND WALK IN IT AND BELIEVE IN IT! Because baby, this is a new season and a new you and God said get ready because what you thought would never happen in a million years is fixing to happen and your mind will be radically changed! False Evidence Appearing Real Fear is defeated and it is no more, stop giving yourself less and settling for complacency because settling never gets anyone anywhere!

So this morning when I aroused from my slumber, I was inflicted with a spirit of praise and thanksgiving! I woke up at 5:30 Am and started the coffee and I turned on Tasha Cobbs because I knew that something was going to happen and I made it clear to Satan that he and his works were coming to an end; and growing up hard core to the root pentecostal I was taught that my greatest weapon was not only prayer but it was my praise! I had the worship playing and the praise break melody came on (It's Under my feet) by Tasha Cobbs, and I felt the spirit of praise and the spirit of the Lord in such a mighty way in my kitchen it was so liberating and I started dancing around my kitchen and speaking in tongues and it felt as if I was in an old timey pentecostal revival IN MY KITCHEN!! I was speaking in the spirit, heard a voice of the Lord, and this voice began to prophesy and what it was saying to me it came out of my mouth just as if It was being held in my belly! And I hear the Lord say "It is time, for the latter days have come and the windows of heaven are opened and behold the son of God, soon shall he approach and split the eastern sky and behold for you all shall be caught up and brought to life!!" My praise, baby it was my praise that brought me out of every bad season, but this praise was unlike no other I felt as if I was on FIRE!!! I want you to do me a favor, I want you to praise God for what is in front of you and not what is behind you!! Boy, while writing this, I was speaking in tongues because I know this world is coming to an end and the kingdom of the Lord is at hand! Someone is going to read this you have either colorectal cancer or a cancer of some sort, baby it is time to break that at the root, someone with severe depression, you are no longer going to feel as if you should "end it all" baby it is a new season for you get ready, someone with Rejection, baby!!! YOU ARE ADOPTED PICK UP THE IDENTITY OF ADOPTION!!! Man!!! Oh God, this is your praise time baby, it is time for you to praise the Lord because you're coming out of that season!!!

So you know when you go through abuse of any form it is hard to move forward. I as an abuse victim and a sexual abuse victim, it was hard to move forward. I am going to tell you that there was a time where I was not really sure if I could move on because the anger I was experiencing was true and un-doubted rage. people would ask me "Aiden, how did you get over it?" I can sit here and tell you that it took years for me to move on after the abuse occurred, my father hi family and others that not only lead to physical abuse but mental and emotional. If you have read my book you would understand why I say that abuse and the scars sometimes it is hard to hide. The physical scars are healed but the mental scar have taken years to heal and the heart that was broken by many is stills lowly getting healed and I can thank my fiance Brooke for that because she is putting a heart back together that she did not break. I can tell you this; having the grace of God and a good family and beautiful yet very understanding Fiance has made all the difference. Moving forward is not going to be easy but I can help you with these steps: Forgiveness Forgiveness is not for the other person it is for you. Stop trying to figure out where you went wrong because the evil in this word has no preference because evil will do anything and everything it will take your happiness and your forgiveness and your love. Understanding Understand it was not your fault this is where forgiveness comes into place! You were and are NOT at fault for what happened to you. In my journey to "moving forward" I had to understand that it was not my fault. Patience There is more but these three are the most important. Being patient and having love as hard as it is love the person that hurt you. be patient because healing will come it may not be on your timing but it will come so being patient is the biggest thing.

So when I was 6 years old many people who have read my latest book know that I was raped and molested. But not only the sexual abuse there was physical and mental and verbal abuse by not just my father but kids at school, and other family members. Growing up I was raised Pentecostal Church of God and that as many know was a strict religion or faith, but at the age of 8 I was exposed to homosexuality and other things and at a age where children are to be sheltered i was exposed, I was called a "Faggot" I was called "Fruity" among other things by my father and his family, and in that time I was so confused I remember going to my great grandmother or (Nana) and My Papa her husband, who was a pastor and I began to tell them everything about the abuse and the names I was being called. I remember my nana looking at me with tears in her eyes and they both told me "Aiden God made you in his image" I was and am a beautiful creation! To this day, I am handsome and you can ask my fiance Brooke, she will tell you so many things. But... one thing She cannot tell you is this... My struggle to be where I am today, I struggled with drug, alcohol, and porn those addictions made me bitter and thos addictions caused me to hate God, and everyone around me and the loss of my mother at the age of 12 to cancer did not make it any better. In my book Fightin' hell in Cowboy Boots, it tells you how by the Grace of God, how the Lord came out to meet me where I was I was in darkness, and rejection, and in pure evil. But I found the Lord and I found that I was not a addict, I was not Gay, I was a child of God and I now have accomplished so much, I have a beautiful fiance, I am a singer, author, speaker, and councilor. I have come so far and made it through things that could've taken me out but Jesus said "No, you're mine son and I have a huge mighty plan for you my child!" Now look, if I can come out of it too, o can you baby! it is time to tell Satan, "No more, ole' son that is a wrap" Put on your cowboy boots, it is time to fight!!