why did you stop fighting?

Why did you stop fighting? What made you drop your guard and stop fighting? Did Jesus give up when he was crucified? Did Jesus give up when people ridiculed him, No!! He did not, he made it! When I was on drugs and in the streets I gave up, I really did I looked around me in the streets of downtown Tulsa Oklahoma I gave up, I stopped and looked up at God and told him "Screw you!" I was done I was over the moon angry with God and myself but you see I was drowning myself I was the one making myself angry because I gave up and I stopped fighting because I thought that the "Aiden Method" was better than the God method! I was convinced that Aiden's way was so much better; you see I hid myself being on drugs from my family and some fell for it and they will see what I am talking about when they read this post. My drug of choice well the first drug I ever got ahold of, was heroin, and that "WHEWWW" y'all let me tell you I was messed up but at the time I had just lost the most important person to me and at 12 losing a momma and then losing a "father" who never really was a father to any of us it was hard because I had to step up to the plate but I did not want too; I was playing with God, playing my family destroying everything I touched it took a lot for me to rebuild the relationship with my Mawmaw before she passed away to go be with the Lord. I destroyed so many things and so many lives all because I gave up on myself and left God in the dust and ran off but you see, you know what God did during my craziness? He came after me and it took me almost hanging myself in my bathroom for me to know "quitting the fight" was not the right thing for me to do! I was done, after that happened I was done I was fixing to walk in the flames of hell and never come back! In the middle of that I saw a man who clothed in white and when I would look at him I would start crying and I feel at the feet of Jesus, and I heard a woman's voice and she touched my shoulder and said this I will never forget it because when I looked up the women was my mommy; "Son, STOP! You have a ministry to start and it is not time for you to be here yet." That hit the nail on the head for me, I still have a story to tell! Between my Nana, my MeMe, and my Mom now, all praying for me and if it was not for my nana, looking at me getting down on her knees begging me to stop killing myself; that was it for me! I had to put on the whole armor of God and get back in the ring and fight Satan! And even today, I am still fighting I am still fighting and I am still letting Satan know that he needs to look under his bed at night because I will be there giving him the same hell he gave me! I had to fight, now my question to you is simple... Are you going to keep fighting?!