I'm caught up in this Holy Moment

I remember when I was 12 years old when my mom was sick, there was an overwhelming feeling of fear that consumed my every being. I was 11 when she was diagnosed and 12 when she died, It was hard watching your mother die then the "dad" who was there but wasn't there not be there, I could not help but wonder what I as a child did to make my family fall apart the way that it did? My life changed when my mother died but truly it changed when I was 6 years old, and in my book that is kind of where it all started maybe a little earlier. But as I look back on my life now and I try to understand or comprehend why I went through all that I cannot help but think of this song, For your Glory by Tasha Cobbs. I was abused and left alone, I was homeless and abandoned and left for dead, but one thing that never changed in my life and that was my faith in Jesus and me clinging to him when I was on the streets, doing drugs, getting drunk, sneaking out and having sex. He never left me and he was always there no matter what I said to him or about him, he loved me and my story well, my story is for his glory to show you that God can take a drug ex-drug addict, and alcoholic, and an ex- sex addict and make him into a masterpiece. I was so lost and confused, that I thought that I was a girl, I thought that I would be just like my dad, in jail, on the streets for life and refusing to accept my responsibility as a man to my family. Now look, I can say that my father did not teach me anything but there is one thing I know for certain that he did teach me, and it is how NOT to be like him. I am caught up in this Holy Moment in being with Jesus because my entire life changed when I got "Adopted." I began to grow spiritually and mentally as well as I began growing as a man, how to love and accept love from people and not be afraid of accepting it. Because for so long, I was terrified of accepting love from anyone because I was convinced I was broken, and dirty, and unworthy of anyone's love. I convinced myself that the only thing I was worthy of was death, But I got up and grew up and shut those doors that I had opened to drugs, alcohol, sex, porn. I shut it all and realised that I was different and that I was raised differently. I was caught in that holy moment standing there with Jesus one night I was about to commit suicide and Jesus meet me in my darkest point, that beacon of light in the darkness, I was fixing to hang myself and I never thought I would be so scared and I felt someone grab my feet and bring me down It never happened, I am alive and I knew that it was Jesus I knew that it was not my end just yet. I was saved and from then on I have lived fervently for Jesus, I am an author, I am a radio host, and a podcast creator, Minister, Singer, and councilor. I have come so far from all I have gone through! Thank you Jesus!